Things to Do Before You Turn Thirty

That's it! I've reached there. The significant one, the landmark one. The dreaded three-oh!

Three decades completed, and what have I achieved till date? Time to take stock. I checked out the net, looking for the most sensible list of "things to do before you turn thirty".

And this is what I discovered are my dozen most significant achievements till date:

1) Marry someone in Vegas. Well I did married, does that count? Even though it was in India, not Vegas, it was still the dumbest thing I've done till date.

2) Be an extra on a tv show. I did turn up as part of the audience at a quiz show, and did manage to pick up two prizes by answering questions that the smart ones had missed.

3) Have sex in a public place. Tee, hee...done that too...

4) Go to London and run into the wall at platform nine and three quarters. Did go to London, did run into several platforms, but did not find the train to Hogwarts...

5) Steal something from someone famous. Well I do have a weighing machine that belonged to Sushmita Sen, actor and former Ms Universe. But she gave it to me, I did not have to steal it, so I guess that does not count.

6) Buy a person at an auction. Thank god, I did not have to join the arranged marriage market. That would surely have qualified.

7) Get arrested for something stupid like indecent exposure or disrupting the peace or being drunk and disorderly. Done that...kissed a policeman on New Year's Eve. Got off with a warning though...

8) Fall off a horse. Have fallen off a mule once. And fallen off a bike too many times to count...after having one too many...

9) Use cheesy chat up lines on a stranger. Been there, done it...successful pick-ups 3 out of 5.

10) Be part of a large protest. Was there at the Hyde Park protest against the Iraqi invasion.

11) Cause a fight. Caused several. Enjoyed them all. Tremendously!

12) Have a threesome. Done that too. Both kinds. Too much fun, but too stoned to remember much. Ha ha ha...